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In chapter 4 O'Brien is seen to be tied up with avoiding public shame with the war, which shows the weight of the war on him. This decision creates a sense of guilt and disgrace.
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In Chapter 1, Lavenders death shows the result of combat during war, which makes Lieutenant Jimmy Cross feel guilty for being obsessed with pictures of a girl back at home. Causing him to burn the pictures and letters to feel more focused which symbolizes responsibility.
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In chapter 12, O'Brien kills a Vietnamese soldier and starts becoming over obsessed with him and his entire life. This shows the guilt O'Brien faces after taking a humans life which reveals the emotional scars he now has and would carry.
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In chapter 7, O'Brien reflects about the different memories of the war and argues that these stories are rarely about moral and seen as unbelievable than the truth. He also argues about how the emotional truth is more important than the truth, which tells readers how to see the book better.
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In chapter 9, Mary arrives in Vietnam where she is consumed by the surrounding of war, she disappears in the jungle and transforms into a different person. Symbolizes the power of war and its irreversibility.
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In chapter 17, the death of Kiowa symbolizes the destruction the war caused. The sadness each soldiers feels reveals the loss that each soldier now carries which reinforces the responsibility the soldier have.
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In chapter 15, It reveals the distance the veterans feel about home. Bowker's silence reflects the difficulty of understanding the emotions soldiers go through. The weight they feel when carrying a bad memory of war symbolizes the amount of courage they have.
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In chapter 16, O'Brien connects stories with memories and surviving. Revealing that O'Brien's way of writing is his way of honoring the dead while still having the sense of damage.
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In chapter 19, O'Brien revisits the war sight in Vietnam with his daughter Kathleen. When leaving Kiowa's shoes in the muddy water, O'Brien feels a connection with Kiowa. Symbolizes how memory can heal through stories.
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In chapter 22, O'Brien closes off the book by reconnecting back with a childhood friend he had who died. O'Brien reveals how his stories can preserve the memories and bring back those who are no longer with us. Which finishes the theme of carrying sadness and storytelling this book revealed.